Pester for Presentations – Ensuring it goes ok

Whilst I was at PSCONFEU I presented a session on writing pester tests instead of using checklists. You can see it here

During the talk I showed the pester test that I use to make sure that everything is ready for my presentation. A couple of people have asked me about this and wanted to know more so I thought that I would blog about it.

Some have said that I might be being a little OCD about it 😉 I agree that it could seem like that but there is nothing worse than having things go wrong during your presentation. It makes your heart beat faster and removes the emphasis from the presentation that you give.

When it is things that you as a presenter could have been able to foresee, like a VM not being started or a database not being restored to the pre-demo state or being logged in as the wrong user then it is much worse

I use Pester to ensure that my environment for my presentation is as I expect and in fact, in Hanover when I ran through my Pester test for my NUC environment I found that one of my SQL Servers had decided to be in a different time zone and therefore the SQL Service would not authenticate and start. I was able to quickly remove the references to that server and save myself from a sea of red during my demos

For those that don’t know. Pester is a PowerShell module for Test Driven Development

Pester provides a framework for running unit tests to execute and validate PowerShell commands from within PowerShell. Pester consists of a simple set of functions that expose a testing domain-specific language (DSL) for isolating, running, evaluating and reporting the results of PowerShell commands

If you have PowerShell version 5 then you will have Pester already installed although you should update it to the latest version. If not you can get Pester from the PowerShell Gallery follow the instructions on that page to install it. This is a good post to start learning about Pester

What can you test? Everything. Well, specifically everything that you can write a PowerShell command to check. So when I am setting up for my presentation I check the following things. I add new things to my tests as I think of them or as I observe things that may break my presentations. Most recently that was ensuring that my Visual Studio Code session was running under the correct user. I did that like this

Describe "Presentation Test" {
    Context "VSCode" {
        It "Should be using the right username" {
            whoami | Should Be 'TheBeard\Rob'

01 - username.PNG

I think about the things that are important to me for my presentation.  I want to ensure that I only have one VS Code window open to avoid that situation where I am clicking through windows looking for the correct window. I can do that using Get-Process

It "Should have Code Insiders Open" {
(Get-Process 'Code - Insiders' -ErrorAction SilentlyContinue)| Should Not BeNullOrEmpty
        It "Should have One VS Code Process" {
            (Get-Process 'Code - Insiders' -ErrorAction SilentlyContinue).Count | Should Be 1

I use -ErrorAction SilentlyContinue so that I don’t get a sea of red when I run the tests. Next I want to check my PowerPoint is ready for my presentation

        It "Should have PowerPoint Open" {
            (Get-Process POWERPNT  -ErrorAction SilentlyContinue).Count | Should Not BeNullOrEmpty
       It "Should have One PowerPoint Open" {
            (Get-Process POWERPNT  -ErrorAction SilentlyContinue).Count | Should Be 1
        It "Should have the correct PowerPoint Presentation Open" {
            (Get-Process POWERPNT  -ErrorAction SilentlyContinue).MainWindowTitle| Should Be 'dbatools - SQL Server and PowerShell together - PowerPoint'

Again I use Get-Process. I check if PowerPoint is open, if there is one PowerPoint open and I use the MainWindowTitle property to check that it is the right PowerPoint presentation after nearly starting a presentation for SqlServer module with the dbatools slides!

I don’t want any distractions when I am presenting. I have the sort of friends who will notice if I get notifications for twitter popping up on my screen and repeatedly send tweets to make people laugh. (I admit, I’m one of those friends – I do this too!)

02 - Friends!!.PNG

Now I cannot get a test for quiet hours working. You can apparently use a Registry key, which of course you can check with PowerShell but I was unable to get it working. I haven’t looked at testing for Presentation Mode  but I test that those programmes are shut down, again using Get-Process

        It "Mail Should be closed" {
            (Get-Process HxMail -ErrorAction SilentlyContinue).Count | Should Be 0
        It "Tweetium should be closed" {
            (Get-Process WWAHost -ErrorAction SilentlyContinue).Count | Should Be 0
        It "Slack should be closed" {
            (Get-Process slack* -ErrorAction SilentlyContinue).Count | Should BE 0

I am generally presenting with SQL Server so I need to make sure that SQL Server is running. I do this with Get-Service

Context "Local SQL" {
        It "DBEngine is running" {
            (Get-Service mssqlserver).Status | Should Be Running
        It "SQL Server Agent is running" {
            (Get-Service sqlserveragent).Status | Should Be Running
        It "DAVE DBEngine is running" {
            (Get-Service mssql*Dave).Status | Should Be Running
        It "DAVE Agent is running" {
            (Get-Service sqlagent*dave).Status | Should Be Running

In this example I am testing that the SQL Service and the Agent service are running on both of my local instances.

I use a NUC running Hyper-V to enable me to show a number of SQL Servers running in a domain environment so I need to be able to test those too. I set the values of the servers I need into a variable and check that the VM is running and that they respond to ping

 Context "VM State" {
        $NUCServers = 'BeardDC1','BeardDC2','LinuxvNextCTP14','SQL2005Ser2003','SQL2012Ser08AG3','SQL2012Ser08AG1','SQL2012Ser08AG2','SQL2014Ser12R2','SQL2016N1','SQL2016N2','SQL2016N3','SQLVnextN1','SQL2008Ser12R2'
        $NUCVMs = Get-VM -ComputerName beardnuc | Where-Object {$_.Name -in $NUCServers}
            foreach($VM in $NUCVms)
                $VMName = $VM.Name
                  It "$VMName Should be Running"{
                    $VM.State | Should Be 'Running'
Context "THEBEARD_Domain" {
            $NUCServers = 'BeardDC1','BeardDC2','LinuxvNextCTP14','SQL2005Ser2003','SQL2012Ser08AG3','SQL2012Ser08AG1','SQL2012Ser08AG2','SQL2014Ser12R2','SQL2016N1','SQL2016N2','SQL2016N3','SQLVnextN1','SQL2008Ser12R2'
            foreach($VM in $NUCServers)
                                 It "$VM Should respond to ping" {
				(Test-Connection -ComputerName $VM -Count 1 -Quiet -ErrorAction SilentlyContinue) | Should be $True

I also need to check if the SQL Service and the Agent Service is running on each server

  Context "SQL State" {
        $SQLServers = (Get-VM -ComputerName beardnuc | Where-Object {$_.Name -like '*SQL*'  -and $_.State -eq 'Running'}).Name
        foreach($Server in $SQLServers)
          $DBEngine = Get-service -ComputerName $Server -Name MSSQLSERVER
           It "$Server  DBEngine should be running" {
                $DBEngine.Status | Should Be 'Running'
           It "$Server DBEngine Should be Auto Start" {
            $DBEngine.StartType | Should be 'Automatic'
              $Agent= Get-service -ComputerName $Server -Name SQLSERVERAGENT
              It "$Server Agent should be running" {
                  $Agent.Status | Should Be 'Running'
           It "$Server Agent Should be Auto Start" {
            $Agent.StartType | Should be 'Automatic'
        It "Linux SQL Server should be accepting connections" {
            $cred = Import-Clixml C:\temp\sa.xml
            {Connect-DbaSqlServer -SqlServer LinuxvnextCTP14 -Credential $cred -ConnectTimeout 60} | Should Not Throw


I check that the Linux SQL Server is available by storing the credential using Export-CliXML  and then use that credential with Connect-DbaSqlServer from dbatools

Using a NUC means I sometimes have fun with networking so I have a couple of tests for that too. Testing for the correct DNS Servers and gateways

    It "Should have DNS Servers for correct interface" {
        (Get-DnsClientServerAddress -InterfaceAlias 'Ethernet 3').Serveraddresses | Should Be @('','')
    It "Should have correct gateway for alias"{
        (Get-NetIPConfiguration -InterfaceAlias 'Ethernet 3').Ipv4DefaultGateway.NextHop | Should Be ''

All of those are generic tests that have evolved over time and are run for every presentation but when I have specific things you require for a single presentation I test for those too.

For Example, later this week Cláudio Silva and I are presenting on dbatools at TUGAIT  We are showing the Test-DbaMaxMemory  , Get-DbaMaxMemory and Set-DbaMaxMemory commands so we need to ensure that the Max Memory for some servers is (In) Correctly set. I use Connect-DbaSqlServer to create an SMO Server object and test that

    It "Max Memory on SQl2012SerAG1 2 and 3 should be 2147483647" {
        (Connect-DbaSqlServer SQL2012Ser08AG1).Configuration.MaxServerMemory.RunValue | Should Be 2147483647
        (Connect-DbaSqlServer SQL2012Ser08AG2).Configuration.MaxServerMemory.RunValue | Should Be 2147483647
        (Connect-DbaSqlServer SQL2012Ser08AG3).Configuration.MaxServerMemory.RunValue | Should Be 2147483647

We are also showing the Test-DbaIdentityUsage command so a column needs to be pre-prepared in AdventureWorks2014 to be able to show the error

    It "ShiftID LastValue Should be 255" {
        $a = Test-DbaIdentityUsage -SqlInstance ROB-XPS -Databases AdventureWorks2014 -NoSystemDb
        $a.Where{$_.Column -eq 'ShiftID'}.LastValue | should Be 255

To ensure that we have orphaned files available for the Find-DbaOrphanedFile command I use this

    It "has Orphaned Files ready"{
        (Find-DbaOrphanedFile -SqlServer SQL2016N2).Count | Should Be 30

There are any number of things that you may want to test to ensure that, as best as possible, the demo gods are not going to come and bite you in the middle of your presentation.

  • Files or Folders exist (or dont exist)
  • Databases, Agent Jobs, Alerts
  • Operators, Logins
  • SSIS packages, SSRS Reports
  • PowerBi files
  • Azure connectivity
  • Azure components

The list is endless, just look at what you require for your presentation.

Anything you can check with PowerShell you can test with Pester so build up your Pester presentation tests and reduce the reliance on the demo gods! I’ll still leave this here just to be safe!!

pray to the demo gods.jpg


Pester Test Inception and the Show Parameter

My fantastic friend Andre Kamman b | t  and I presented at PSConfEu last week

C_EDtK0XoAA1PL7 (2).jpg

and whilst we were there we were chatting about running Pester Tests. He wanted to know how he could run a Pester Test and not lose the failed tests as they scrolled past him. In his particular example we were talking about running hundreds of tests on thousands of databases on hundreds of servers

01 - pesters.gif

I guess it looks something like that!!

I explained about the -Show parameter which allows you to filter the results that you see. Using Get-Help Invoke-Pester you can see this

Customizes the output Pester writes to the screen. Available options are None, Default,
Passed, Failed, Pending, Skipped, Inconclusive, Describe, Context, Summary, Header, All, Fails.

The options can be combined to define presets.
Common use cases are:

None – to write no output to the screen.
All – to write all available information (this is default option).
Fails – to write everything except Passed (but including Describes etc.).

A common setting is also Failed, Summary, to write only failed tests and test summary.

This parameter does not affect the PassThru custom object or the XML output that
is written when you use the Output parameters.

Required?                    false
Position?                    named
Default value                All
Accept pipeline input?       false
Accept wildcard characters?  false

So there are numerous options available to you. Lets see what they look like

I will use a dummy test which creates 10 Context blocks and runs from 1 to 10 and checks if the number has a remainder when divided by 7

Describe "Only the 7s Shall Pass" {
    $Servers = 0..10
    foreach($Server in $servers)
        Context "This is the context for $Server" {
        foreach($A in 1..10){
            It "Should Not Pass for the 7s" {
                $A % 7 | Should Not Be 0

Imagine it is 10 servers running 10 different tests

For the Show parameter All is the default, which is the output that you are used to

02 - All.gif

None does not write anything out. You could use this with -Passthru which will pass ALL of the test results to a variable and if you added -OutputFile and -OutputFormat then you can save ALL of the results to a file for consumption by another system. The -Show parameter only affects the output from the Invoke-Pester command to the host not the output to the files or the variable.

Header only returns the header from the test results and looks like this ( I have included the none so that you can see!)

03 - none and header.PNG

Summary, as expected returns only the summary of the results

04 - summary.PNG

You can use more than one value for the Show parameter so if you chose Header, Summary, Describe you would get this

05 - headerdesscribe sumnmary.PNG

You could use Failed to only show the failed tests which looks like this

06 - failed.PNG

but Andre explained that he also want to be able to see some progress whilst the test was running. If there were no failures then he would not se anything at all.

So Fails might be the answer (or Failed and Summary but that would not show the progress)

07 - fails.PNG

Fails shows the Header, Describe, Context  and also shows the Summary.

However we carried on talking. PSConfEU is a fantastic place to talk about PowerShell 🙂 and wondered what would happen if you invoked Pester from inside a Pester test. I was pretty sure that it would work as Pester is just PowerShell but I thought it would be fun to have a look and see how we could solve that requirement

So I created 3 “Internal Tests” these are the ones we don’t want to see the output for. I then wrote an overarching Pester test to call them. In that Pester test script I assigned the results of each test to a variable which. When you examine it you see

08 - Pester Object.PNG

The custom object that is created shows the counts of all different results of the tests, the time it took and also the test result.

So I could create a Pester Test to check the Failed Count property of that Test result

$InternalTest1.FailedCount | Should Be 0

To make sure that we don’t lose the results of the tests we can output  them to a file like this

$InternalTest1 = Invoke-Pester .\Inside1.Tests.ps1 -Show None -PassThru -OutputFile C:\temp\Internal_Test1_Results.xml -OutputFormat NUnitXml

So now we can run Invoke-Pester and point it at that file and it will show the progress and the final result on the screen.

09 finale.PNG

You could make use of this in different ways

  • Server 1
    • Database1
    • Database2
    • Database3
    • Database4
  • Server 2
    • Database1
  • Server 3
    • Database1

Or by Test Category

  • Backup
    • Server1
    • Server 2
    • Server 3
    • Server 4
  • Agent Jobs
    • Server 1
    • Server 2
    • Server 3
    • Server 4
  • Indexes
    • Server 1
    • Server 2
    • Server 3
    • Server 4

Your only limitation is your imagination.

As we have mentioned PSConfEU you really should check out the videos on the youtube channel All of the videos that were successfully recorded will be on there. You could start with this one and mark your diaries for April 16-20 2018



PowerShell Function – Validating a Parameter Depending On A Previous Parameter’s Value

I was chatting on the SQL Community Slack with my friend Sander Stad b | t about some functions he is writing for the amazing PowerShell SQL Server Community module dbatools. He was asking my opinion as to how to enable user choice or options for Agent Schedules and I said that he should validate the input of the parameters. He said that was difficult as if the parameter was Weekly the frequency values required would be different from if the parameter was Daily or Monthly. That’s ok, I said, you can still validate the parameter.

You can read more about Parameters either online here or here or by running

Get-Help About_Parameters
Get-Help About_Functions_Parameters

You can also find more help information with

Get-Help About_*Parameters*

01 more help.PNG

This is not a post about using Parameters, google for those but this is what I showed him.

Lets create a simple function that accepts 2 parameters Word and Number

 function Test-validation
Return "$Word and $Number"

We can run it with any parameters

02 any parameters

If we wanted to restrict the Word parameter to only accept Sun, Moon or Earth we can use the ValidateSetAttribute as follows

 function Test-validation
        [ValidateSet("sun", "moon", "earth")]
Return "$Word and $Number"

Now if we try and set a value for the $Word parameter that isn’t sun moon or earth then we get an error

03 parameter error.PNG

and it tells us that the reason for the error is that TheBeard! does not belong to the set sun, moon, earth.

But what Sander wanted was to validate the value of the second parameter depending on the value of the first one. So lets say we wanted

  • If word is sun, number must be 1 or 2
  • If word is moon, number must be 3 or 4
  • If word is earth, number must be 5 or 6

We can use the ValidateScriptAttribute  to do this. This requires a script block which returns True or False. You can access the current parameter with $_ so we can use a script block like this

    if($Word -eq 'Sun'){$_ -eq 1 -or $_ -eq 2}
    elseif($Word -eq 'Moon'){$_ -eq 3 -or $_ -eq 4}
    elseif($Word -eq 'earth'){$_ -eq 5 -or $_ -eq 6}

The function now looks like

function Test-validation
        [ValidateSet("sun", "moon", "earth")]
            if($Word -eq 'Sun'){$_ -eq 1 -or $_ -eq 2}
            elseif($Word -eq 'Moon'){$_ -eq 3 -or $_ -eq 4}
            elseif($Word -eq 'earth'){$_ -eq 5 -or $_ -eq 6}
Return "$Word and $Number"

It will still fail if we use the wrong “Word” in the same way but now if we enter earth and 7 we get this

04 parameter error.PNG

But if we enter sun and 1 or moon and 3 or earth and 5 all is well

05 working

I would add one more thing. We should always write PowerShell functions that are easy for our users to self-help. Of course, this means write good help for the function. here is a great place to start from June Blender

06 June.PNG

In this example, the error message

Test-validation : Cannot validate argument on parameter ‘number’. The ”
if($word -eq ‘Sun’){$_ -eq 1 -or $_ -eq 2}
elseif($word -eq ‘Moon’){$_ -eq 3 -or $_ -eq 4}
elseif($word -eq ‘earth’){$_ -eq 5 -or $_ -eq 6}
” validation script for the argument with value “7” did not return a result of True. Determine why the validation script failed, and then try the
command again.
At line:1 char:39
+ Test-validation -Word “earth” -number 007
+                                       ~~~
+ CategoryInfo          : InvalidData: (:) [Test-validation], ParameterBindingValidationException
+ FullyQualifiedErrorId : ParameterArgumentValidationError,Test-validation

is not obvious to a none-coder so we could make it easier. As we are passing in a script block we can just add a comment like this. I added a spare line above and below to make it stand out a little more

function Test-validation
        [ValidateSet("sun", "moon", "earth")]
            # Sun Accepts 1 or 2
            # Moon Accepts 3 or 4
            # Earth Accepts 5 or 6
            if($Word -eq 'Sun'){$_ -eq 1 -or $_ -eq 2}
            elseif($Word -eq 'Moon'){$_ -eq 3 -or $_ -eq 4}
            elseif($Word -eq 'earth'){$_ -eq 5 -or $_ -eq 6}
Return "$Word and $Number"

Now if you enter the wrong parameter you get this

07 more help.PNG

which I think makes it a little more obvious


Setting the default file type for a new file in VS Code

Just a short post today. When you open a new file in VS Code (Using CTRL + N) it opens by default as a plain text file.

To change the language for the file use CTRL +K, M.

That’s CTRL and K together and then M afterwards separately.

then you can choose the language for the file. It looks like this

01 - Change language

However, if you just want your new file to open as a particular language every time you can change this in the settings.

Click File –> Preferences –> Settings

or by clicking CTRL + ,

02 - Open Preferences.PNG

This opens the settings.json file. Search in the bar for default and scroll down until you see file

03 - File defaults.PNG

If you hover over the setting that you want to change, you will see a little pencil. Click on that and then Copy to Settings which will copy it to your user settings in the right hand pane.

NOTE – You will need to enter powershell and not PowerShell. For other languages, click on the language in the bottom bar and look at the value in the brackets next to the language name

04 - langauge.PNG

Once you have entered the new settings save the file (CTRL + S) and then any new file you open will be using the language you have chosen

It looks like this

05 - Change settings.gif

and now every new file that you open will be opened as a PowerShell file (or whichever language you choose)

You will still be able to change the language with CTRL K, m

Just to be clear, because people sometimes get this wrong. That’s CTRL and K, let go and then M. You will know you are doing correctly when you see

(CTRL + K) was pressed waiting for second key of chord……

06 - waiting for key

If you get it wrong and Press CTRL + K + M then you will open the Extensions search for keymaps.


07 - incorrect.PNG

This is a brilliant feature enabling you to copy key mappings for the programmes you use all the time and save you from learning the Code key mappings. You can find the keymaps in the Extensions Marketplace as well as by pressing CTRL + K + M

Using Twitter with VS Code

So today I saw this tweet from Mathias in reply to Stefan and Amanda

01 - tweet.PNG


That looks cool. Twitter in VS Code, one less programme to open Here how it works

Open VS Code and hit CTRL + P and type ext install twitter or hit CTRL + SHIFT + X to open the extensions and search

02 - install.PNG


Hit install and then reload

03 - reload


Accept the prompt

04 - prompt.PNG

and you will have a Twitter button in the bar at the bottom

05 - bar

If you click it then the top bar will change to the set up wizard

06 - forst time.PNG

Follow it along and create a Twitter App.

07 - want to continue

08 - create an appWhich will open up the website.


09 - create an app.PNG

Just fill in the blanks

010 - fil in the blanks.PNG

and then  you will have this window

011 - app settings.PNG

Click on keys and Access tokens

012 - settings and appl

Check the App Permissions are set to read and write

014 - app permissions

and then click create my access token

Then go back to VS Code and click

016 - settings details

Now you are shown the settings.json (which you can always find by File –> Preferences –> Settings )

017 - settingsjson.PNG

This bit, the wizard doesn’t explain very well (hence this post) If you have already some settings between the curly braces, you will need to put a comma and then paste the below code. If you do not then paste the below code between the curly braces


and then paste the relevant keys and tokens from your twitter app between the double quotes

THEN PRESS CTRL + S to save the settings.json – Its in caps as when I showed someone they were too excited and didn’t save it!!

Now its all set up you can use the extension. Click the twitter button in the bar and

018 - Twitter actions

Now you can have your Home timeline in Code

019 - twitter home.PNG

Yes there are still a few seats left for the Europe PowerShell Conference You can search, see your mentions, your user page

020- mentions.PNG

and post 🙂 You can just press F1 and start typing twitter to get the commands

021 - comands

022 - tweet.png



023 - tweet.PNG

You can also message people using D message username. You can see the extension repo on GitHub which will be a good place to raise issues, bugs, feature requests

I’m not suire it will Increase my productivity !! but it really pleases the nerd in me!



Why VS Code Increases my Productivity

Last week I was showing a co-worker some PowerShell code and he asked what the editor was that I was using. Visual Studio Code I said. Why do you use that? What does it do?

This is what I showed him

Runs on any Operating System

Code (as I shall refer to it) is free lightweight open source editor which runs on all the main operating systems. So you have the same experience in Linux as on Windows. So there is less to learn


You can add new languages, themes, debuggers and tools from the extensions gallery to reduce the number of programmes you have open and the need to switch between programmes

You can add extensions using CTRL + SHIFT  + X and searching in the bar

01 - Extensions

or by going to the Extensions gallery searching for the extensions and copying the installation command

02 - extensions gallery.PNG


There is a rich de-bugging experience built in

03 - debugging.PNG

You can learn about debugging from the official docs and Keith Hill wrote a blog post on Hey Scripting Guys about debugging PowerShell


An absolute must to make life simpler. Code has intellisense for PowerShell and T-SQL which I use the most but also for many more languages . Read more here

Git integration

I love the Git integration, makes it so easy to work with GitHub for me. I can see diffs, commit, undo commits nice and simply. Just open the root folder of the repository and its there

04 - git

This page will give you a good start on using git with Code

No distractions

With full screen mode (F11) or Zen mode (CTRL +K, Z) I can concentrate on coding and not worry about distractions

Stay in one programme and do it all

I have a Markdown document, a PowerShell script and a T-SQL script all in one Git repository and I can work on all of them and version control in one place. The screencast below also shows some of the new capabilities available in the insiders version I managed to leave the screen recording dialogue open as well, apologies and the mistake was deliberate!

I used the GitLens and SQL beautify extensions as well as the dbatools module in that demo

That’s why I am using Code more and more these days, hope it helps

Happy Automating!



Why Volunteer at SQLBits ?

WARNING – Contains Orange and light-hearted photos 😉

I have returned home from SQLBits 2017 The Disco Edition. I am exhausted, my body is pointing out to me in a variety of ways that this is the only week of the year that I spend so much time on my feet. Why would anyone do it?

Many months of work

First though, you need to know that the SQLBits conference is organised and run by volunteers. All of the committee spend many, many long hours, out of their own free time, for many months before and after the event to ensure that the attendees, sponsors, speakers and volunteers experience is trouble free. I think that they do an amazing and fantastic job and repeatedly pull off the best, most enjoyable conference that I have been to.

Thank you Simon, Chris, Darren, Allan, Alex, Jonathan, Annette

Thank you also to their families as well, who undoubtedly miss out on time with them whilst they are organising everything to do with the event, from finding venues, organising dates, speakers, marketing, website, sponsors, printing, audio visual, THE PARTY!! and all the other big and small things that it takes to make an event of that size occur.

Orange Shirted Wonderful Folk

There is another group of volunteers that you will have seen at SQLBits. For the last couple of years we have been the ones in the orange shirts.

Here is the Class of 2017


I think this is a brilliant colour as it makes us easy to spot (although a couple of attendees who also had orange tops on did get stopped and asked for directions 🙂 )

What do they do?

These folk come in early and get everything set up. Sometimes we have to explain that the event isn’t ready for you yet

WP_20170406_07_31_20_Pro.jpgWe sort out the registration desk and greet every attendee, speaker and sponsor and assist them.


We help the speakers get set up


and ensure they have everything they need.

aaron bertrand.jpg

Aaron Bertrand (above) and John Martin from SentryOne said that it is the best experience for a speaker that they have had anywhere.

We direct and assist the attendees to be in the right place, sometimes with some flair!


We ensure that any issues are resolved quickly and with as little distraction as possible. The room is too hot, too cold, too noisy or too quiet. The projector isn’t working or the speakers microphone has a buzz, there is too much light or too little. The water coolers are empty. The rubbish needs picking up. All these and many other minor complications are communicated and passed to the correct people to get resolved.

WP_20170404_17_51_33_Pro (2).jpg

Sometimes we have to resolve our own issues. We had folks who were called by their work and had to stop helping and go back to their day jobs for a few hours. We all understand what it is like for people working in technology and adapt and manage accordingly. In almost every photo I took, there is someone in an orange shirt to be seen.


We answer numerous questions from the 1500 or so attendees (and the odd sheep) who came this year.


From timings and locations to taxi numbers or restaurants. Unfortunately I did not beat last years “Best question I have been asked at SQLBits” which was

Excuse me, I have a Dalek in the van . What would you like me to do with it?

I was even asked questions on the way back to the hotel gone midnight on Saturday!!

We stay afterwards and help to get ready for the next day, putting out the new signs for the domes and the required paperwork.

So why do we do it?

I asked the guys and gals this question and in their own words, this is why they do it

Being a volunteer at SQLBits is not easy. I’m writing this three days after the event and my legs are still sore. Most days are 11 hours long and you will be standing for most of them. Very often the sessions are full, so you’ll be giving up your seat to one of the attendees. Lunches and breaks are shorter as you are either cleaning down the last session or getting ready for the next. When things go wrong, and they do, you’ll need to get them fixed as quickly as possible even if you have not had  coffee yet.

You do get to attend sessions but you might not always get your first choice. This can be both a good and bad thing. Very often I have filled in on sessions that I normally wouldn’t attend as they are outside my direct area of work, only to find them the most interesting as I get to see how the other half lives.

So why do I keep coming back? Well it’s fun. We have a laugh, even on reception when it’s busy you get to joke with the attendees, speakers and other helpers. There is pizza, beer and jokes while bag packing. Odd expresso calls!  Working along side some else is a great way to get to know them. I live outside the normal SQL community structures, my nearest user group is a 150 miles away. So I don’t get to interact with other SQL family members as often as others. But even so, I know as soon as I walk into SQL Bits, there will be a chorus of, “Hey Conan, how have you been?” from people I haven’t seen in a year. There is also something about wearing a bright orange shirt that seems to attract interactions from the attendees.

All because of the of the experience that is being a volunteer.

Conan Farrell

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I owe a lot to the SQL Community. It was at SQLBits a few years ago that someone convinced me to start speaking. That encouragement and acceptance from the #SQLFamily put into motion a series of events that lead to me quitting the best job of my life last year in favour of an adventure to set up my own company. It’s been a wonderful journey and if it had not been for SQLBits (and SQL Relay, and SQL Saturdays, and others) I wouldn’t have taken it.

I have a debt to pay. And it’s wonderful to be able to contribute towards giving other people the same opportunities that the community has given me.

Also, for similar reasons, I recently joined the committee for SQL Relay. While I’ve been a sponsor and a speaker a lot before, I am fairly inexperienced at organising events. Helping out with the awesome SQLBits team has been a great learning curve. I hope to take what I have learned and apply it to my role for SQL Relay.

Finally, frankly, there are so many great people in the SQL Community it is just wonderful to be able to work with them during the day. (And share some beers with them in the evening!)

Alex Yates


I volunteer at SQLBits and in the wider Data Platform community for various reasons. The community is the glue in our industry and being part of that glue is both a privilege and an honour. Without volunteers these awesome events couldn’t function and we couldn’t share knowledge as freely. There also would not be the same opportunities to network with such great people and experts in the same field. I am proud to be part of the SQL Family and facilitate the learning that being a volunteer offers to professionals just like me. Stronger together.

Paul Andrew

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When I volunteered, I felt I’d like to give back to the SQL Community a bit of the much I’ve received from them. I wanted to become more engaged.
I didn’t even dream it would be like this, the terrific team I found here was so great that I can barely wait for the next one.

Miguel Oliveira

Volunteering gives you the experience of the effort & reward of running an event.. You build an appreciation of generating success, creating networks of colleagues and friends, being quick to react, and helps you walk away with the feeling of “I contributed to this”. Everyone should volunteer, even if its just once.

Ben Watt

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This year was my 10th sqlbits (remembering we skipped unlucky 13) and 7th I’ve been on the helping team for. I started helping when I learned my original conference companions were moving on to different technologies. Something I’ve never understood.

Historically I’ve worked in multiple companies as a lone dba, something I’ve found many at SQLBits can relate to. Through user groups and SQLBits I’ve met lots of others in the same boat over the years. It can be a frustrating job defending servers, implementing best practice and writing sql when all your application team want to do is add columns and ship the next release!

Yes, there are good networking opportunities and the parties are great but at the core is great quality training. I’ve had a great time playing a small part in helping deliver the experience over the years. Occasionally I have to shout about feedback forms or seating arrangements but on the whole folk are fine with it.  If I’m honest they are long days. A typical day involves a start and end meeting in addition to sessions you are monitoring. Add to that hotel commutes, catching up with the friends you made last year, meals, drinks etc and its 1am. Oh, and tomorrow’s meeting is 7.30 eek….

It’s been a great journey watching the progression of events. Each one adds to the last, they run a lot slicker now. The sponsors are first class and always embrace the theme with their stalls and giveaways. I do wish more folk would enter the prize draws and stop me winning though, it’s getting embarrassing now 🙂

Richard Doering 


The best Data Platform conference in Europe! I couldn’t miss the opportunity to be much more than just an attendee.

Hubert Kobierzewski

I volunteer for sqlbits, to get experience from a multi day event that has a lot of attendees. Lots of take aways to make local community events run smoother for the delegates.
Thats my main reason

Jens Vestergard

There is no way I could not use this next photo celebrate this years Most Valuable Helper.

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Thank you Shaun Atkinson you were amazing and thank you for looking after my former intern James as a first time volunteer

How can I do it next year?

We always welcome new people to our team. If you would like to volunteer your time to help at the next SQLBits please send an email to with a subject of I would like to volunteer or something similar. Nearer the time of next years SQLBits (No I don’t know when or where it is, I will know when you do) the awesome, amazing, fantastic, brilliant, organising amazeballs also known as Annette will get in touch with you with further details

You can expect to have a lot of fun, make new friends and help make the best data platform conference the best data platform conference

Oh and sometimes theres free pizza 🙂


Another Thank You

Some lovely people, (I am really sorry but I didn’t get everyones name) brought sweets, biscuits, cakes and other goodies for the crew. Thank you, they were very much appreciated.

Pictures because smiles 🙂

Not all of the volunteers wanted to give feedback publically but I had some cracking photos so I thought I would share them as well. Enjoy

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